The Grossest Part About Cycling

Today, Labor Day, I got in 56 miles on the bike, completing the 70.3 weekend! Yeah!
It got hot out there today. It was 91 degrees when I got back, and I was feeling it. Over the 56 miles I saw a number of other cyclists, a few turtles, and two horses with riders. Oh, and I only fell off my bike once.

Warning: Skip down to the asterisks if you do not wish to read about cycling and male physiology.

Sometimes on these longer rides I develop a little discomfort in the Nethers. Of course I try to reposition myself on the saddle to alleviate my discomfort, but eventually I realize it's going to take some, uh, manual manipulation to rectify the situation. So, I look around to make sure there are no witnesses, and then I, um, reach down to free myself, as it were. That really should be all I write about that, but there is one more thing to say about it. The point of relaying this to you is that once I've found myself, often I can't feel it because it's numb, like when you lie on your arm too long. Am I the only one? I'm sure this is where the phrase "numb nuts" comes from.

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I saw a dude out riding today, and though his bike wasn't exactly a recumbent, the guy had a chair for a saddle. I'm not kidding. It had a back and a nice wide seat and everything. Man, I bet he never has to re-adjust. I wonder if he even wears bike shorts.

Warning: Skip down to the asterisks if you don't want to read about bike shorts.

The grossest thing about cycling is the bike shorts. I'm not talking about how us guys look wearing them, though you could make a case for that. I'm talking about that giant pad in the bottom that's intended to cushion your ride. I still feel like a newbie, so I remember when I got my first pair of shorts, looked on the inside and thought, "What the what? Someone sewed a Depends up in these things!" And this is why it's so gross; I assume you're not supposed to wear undies with you bike shorts.

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Occasionally I tell people yes, when you first start riding you'll be sore in a few places you're not supposed to be sore, but the more you ride the more comfortable you get. I still get achy in my lower back when riding, but after researching a little more, it seems like I just need to ride more miles, and perhaps work on my core. Lately I've been trying to stretch my lower back as well. I'm not great at stretching out, I haven't made it a habit, but I think it's helped my back.

OK, I need to go. I gotta get the grill going and get my protein grilled. Happy Labor Day!

Katy Trail

My High Point Today

When at the highest point on the Katy Trail you are at the staggering altitude of 955 feet above sea level. I know that because I rode there and back again, a biker's tale. It's a 44 mile round trip and it took me 2 hours and 50 minutes. I didn't exactly burn it up, but I did meet up with some dwarves and fought a dragon.



I take my high points seriously

I feel a lot like Bilbo sometimes. "I want to see mountains, Frodo!" I'm sure Bilbo would not be satisfied with 955 feet, but it's the best I had today. I live in a part of the country that is not exactly known for its peaks. I blogged a few weeks ago about making it to the top of Taum Sauk, the high point here in Missouri, and could hardly breathe at 1,772 feet. I spent a good portion of my life in eastern Kansas, and so I know Kansas gets a bad rap for being flat, but Kansas' high point is 4,039 towering feet. Missouri is short by comparison.

The sun was up this morning when I started, of course, it was 7:30 AM by then. When I got out of my truck to get my bike, I vowed to get a new bike jersey. Whose idea was it to make these things out of polyester? The air was as thick as a quilt, and all of a sudden my shirt felt like plastic against my skin. I have other shirts that are more comfortable in this muggy weather, but they don't have those handy-dandy pockets in the back. I'm going to sew cargo pockets onto the side of my bike shorts. Maybe that'll catch on.

Despite the oppressive humidity today, the trail was crowded this morning, relatively. I'm convinced that ninjas used road bikes to sneak up behind people. It's amazing how close you can get to a couple of yacking cyclists before they realize you're there. I always give them a chance to acknowledge me and move over, but they never do, so I have to give them a, "On your left," and then they act all startled and sometimes, quite frankly, indignant, that they have to move over to let someone through. Oh well, they're still not half as bad as the folks who insist on walking in the running lane at the community center. Don't get me started on those people.



It's all down hill from here. Heading East.

Then there's the squirrels. When it comes to making decisions in a high pressure situation, I believe the squirrels have the first step nailed. The first thing to do in a stressful situation, like if you think you may be eaten by something, is to stop, remain still, and assess the situation. That's exactly what I see the squirrels doing when I ride up on them. Their next step, however, seems less thought out. It's always the same--run like hell!



Heading West.

OK, I've rambled long enough. I'm sorry I didn't carry that LOTR theme all the way through. You'll have to find my post about how I keep losing my wedding rings for that. I'll take the time to confess that I did not swim this week, and I have a 70.3 in like seven weeks. I need a kick in the pants.