Run Like a Deer

We wake up to gun fire around here at the start of deer season. The season actually starts next Saturday, but there is a special youth hunt today and tomorrow, so I heard the distant rifle booms this morning as I contemplated an early morning run.

Although I'm thankful for the legions of men, and women, in my neck of the woods who bravely take to the forest to protect us from the poor defenseless Bambis out there, I do feel like I should wear hunter safety orange while running. Occasionally I'll hear gunfire while I'm out, depending which trail I take, but I comfort myself knowing that if I hear the gunfire, then they missed me.

I actually have nothing against hunting, and maybe someday I'll go. I would want it to be a challenge, however. I mean, c'mon man! I've been out running and seen deer close enough to hit with a rock, let alone a rifle and a scope. In the paper there'll be pictures of kids with deer they killed. "Susie Q, 8 yrs old, from Podunk, MO, killed this 12 pt buck Sat. morning." I never heard of an 8-year-old completing an Ironman. See, there's a challenge!

Completing an Ironman must be a serious challenge, but training for one is challenging as well. For instance, I'm sitting here procrastinating a run and using the excuse that I need to update the blog. Can you blame me? It's 34° outside. I have a warm quiet house because the kids are at their Grandmother's, and I just made some coffee in the coffee press. So why in the world should I go outside and exert myself? Oh, and another reason to stay hunkered down, the woods are filled with children and firearms today.

Seriously, I'll have another cup of joe, or two, then I'll get out and do some running. No trails today. I'm going to keep it in town. There's an Ironman somewhere calling, and I need to be ready, and I don't want to get tagged by Susie Q.

Red Red Whine

In yesterday's post I related how I had a bad race in Branson last Sunday. I was pretty disappointed, during, and after, the race. Heck! I'm still a little disappointed right now. But I own that bad race.

I talked about how my back tightened up and made it hard to get good deep breaths. At one point I thought I might die, but I realized it would be a slow death, slow enough to let me finish the race, so I might as well keep moving. I think the reason my back gave me that trouble on the run is because I didn't train enough on the bike. I think my back was reacting to being in the aero position for so long, which it's not accustomed to doing.

I also know that if I'm really honest I'd say I don't really 'train', but rather, 'exercise'. Even though I track my times and efforts and all that, it's been a while since I've put that information to use. That's the main problem with my swim. I'm happy to just knock out a certain distance. I need to incorporate some time goals and work to achieve them. Space and time, just like that famous triathlete Einstein told us about.

Even in the midst of that run last Lord's Day, I remembered something I read the night before. I ran across an article on some triathlon site about things to remember on race day. Probably a little late to start getting ready for a race the night before, but the last thing on the list was something like, "Be thankful you are able to race." So I had to give thanks for being out there, even as a man with a prosthetic leg passed me. Props to him.

So what now? Man, last Sunday I said I was never doing a triathlon again! Today I'm looking at full Ironman races and trying to decide which would work out best for me. Actually, I think if I get into a full Ironman I want to meet some intermediate goals before I even sign up. But that's tricky, because a lot of these races fill up so fast. And I'm disappointed that the St. George race in Utah is now a half Ironman. Wisconsin sells out the day registration opens (what is it with that race?). So maybe TX or Louisville? Any thoughts?

At any rate, I did work out today for the first time since last Sunday. Squats, deadlift, and crunches. Twenty-four minutes all together. I recorded the weights and sets, but it was really just a light set to get back into the swing of things. Let's see if I can get any better at the next workout.

ps. BTW, normally you can follow me on Twitter, @kenkenkenusa, but yesterday I broke my iPhone (I know, I'm very sad). My son and I decided to go shoot skeet. At one point we were messing with the cord you pull, and I set the launcher. Cut to the launcher getting released and hitting me in the leg. I didn't think much of it at first, but then I thought, "That didn't hurt as much as I thought it would." And then, "Oh crap! My phone is in my pocket." Sure enough the screen got shattered. It still displays the time and the lock screen photo, but I can't "Slide to unlock." So, we may make a trip to the Apple store tomorrow.

The Big Branson 70.3 Bust

or

How Bad Do I Suck at Triathlon?

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Time to Start Blogging About Something Else

Wow! What a let down. I knew my time wouldn't be great, but c'mon man!

Last Sunday I participated in the Branson 70.3 Ironman race. I say 'participated' because I didn't 'compete'. I was present. I, in fact, finished the race, but only after several others finished ahead of me.

My goal was to do just a little better than last year. In 2011 I finished in 7:10, and it took 4:05 to get through the bike course. So I thought I'd push it just a bit more on the bike and get done that much sooner. Everything went as planned, until I started running, my strongest event.

The day started early at Moonshine Beach. Normally it's an Army Corps of Engineers park, and the water is surprisingly clear. The water was also surprisingly warm. At 74 degrees it was warmer than the air, but still wetsuit legal. I got my transition all set up and got my wetsuit on and decided I should hit the port-a-potty once more before my wave started.

Normally urinating in a port-a-potty is uneventful, if not really smelly. You don't expect to be put on display when you're in there. There were about fifteen port-a-johns lined up but there were only five or six lines of people taking turns to get into one. Everyone was standing 10-15 feet back from the doors and nobody was going into a john unless they saw someone come out. There was no one going down the line knocking on doors looking for an empty one.

So with that knowledge I stepped into the head and didn't feel it necessary to lock the door. About midstream I hear a knock. "Just a second!" I say. Knock again. "Just a second!" At this point the door opens and a young lady is standing there (mid 20s?). If I opened a port-a-potty door and there was anyone in there I'd probably get that door shut in half a second and be embarrassed. This girl lingered! I tried to keep my back to her but I turned my head around and looked her in the eye. She did not meet my gaze. I swear to you it seems like she was trying to get a look at my johnson. It's like she was trying to see what I was holding in there. And it's not like she was, "Oh, I'm so sorry!" and then slammed the door. It was more like, "Oh, let me see what this guy is holding over there. What is that? Oh well, he obviously doesn't want me to see. I guess I'll close the door and go wait in line."

So with that out of the way, I decided to go for a swim with a few other guys 40-44 years old. I finished this 1.2 mile swim in 48:04 in 2011, in 2012 I finished in 48:12. Lost a few seconds, but consistent, uh? Pretty slow, too. I don't know why I swim so slowly, but my wife diagnosed my stroke and said I'm "methodical."

On to the bike. Last year I had no idea about my pace, speed, or anything while riding. So this year I brought my Garmin just so I could make sure I maintained some sort of minimum speed. I calculated that if I averaged 17 miles per hour I could finish in about three hours. After the first loop I could see that wasn't going to happen. There's about 3,000 feet of total ascent. If you don't believe the hills in Branson are steep and long, read anyone else's blog that did this race. I haven't read one where the blogger says, "There were hills, but they weren't that bad." Up hill I'd hit 7-9 miles per hour. Down hill I'd get up to around 38 MPH. Others say they went much faster (50+). I'm too much of a wuss to stay in the aero position on those down hills.

I finished the 56 mile hilly, non-flats, bike course in 3:44! That's 20 minutes better than 2011. I was happy getting off the bike. I started running, and my happiness ended.

As soon as I got off the bike and started running pain went through my midsection and around to my back. Not my lower back, it was all up around my ribcage. At first I couldn't figure out what was going on. I'd never experienced this kind of pain before. My first thought was I had eaten too many goos and my gut was reacting, but it wasn't that kind of pain. After probably three or four miles I finally figured out what was going on.

For whatever reason the muscles in my back started to spasm. When they did it constricted my ribcage and it got hard to breathe. I would literally have to force myself to take deep breaths, but when I did, more spasms. So I would slow down and walk until things calmed down. Then I'd start running, and with each step I could feel the muscles getting tighter and tighter. As they'd tighten they forced these little grunts out of me. So as people ran by they'd hear, "Huh, ugh, uh, erh." Finally I would have to walk again.

I really thought I'd get through this after the after the first few miles, but it persisted the whole race. I had to walk several times. I stopped and bent over a few times. At one point I crouched down and some dude told me not to stop and to not sit down, so I kept going. Once while I was walking a girl walked past me and said she didn't know if it hurt more to run or walk. I said walking hurt my pride but running hurt my body.

I finally finished the 13.1 mile run in 2:55. In 2011 it was 2:06. I was disappointed to say the least.
Well, this is long enough already. I have more to talk about, like the tallest guy ever to ride a bike and other observations while racing. I'll have to save them for another post. Sorry, no pics. My wife and I didn't even think to take the camera.

14.3 Miles So Far

Friday I swam 2000 meters and today, Sunday, I ran* 13.1 miles. Tomorrow I hope to bike at least 56 miles. That will complete my 70.3 weekend, albeit out of order.

As I finished my swim on Friday morning it started raining here, and it was glorious. Thank you hurricane Isaac for gracing us with your presence. It rained Friday and Saturday, but not a big gully washer. It was just a good steady rain, and we needed it bad. So because of the rain on Saturday I elected to lift weights, even though I haven't touched them for about a month. I did squats, bench, and chin-ups, 5 sets each, all high reps, and immediately got sore.

I was feeling it this morning, but decided I'd get the run in today. So right after church I started in on my half marathon. I basically did 4 5K loops around my hood. I'd pick up Powerade and nutrition as I looped around my house.

And this is why I'm The Pretend Triathlete. It started out well, Garmin said I was doing 7:30 miles, but by the end it was closer to 10:00 and I was feeling it. As I ended my last loop, the longest loop as it worked out, I saw that we had visitors at the house, friends of the family. They were just getting ready to leave as I arrived. So here I am wanting to sit down, or die, and I need to engage in a little small talk and chit-chat. At one point I leaned up against the house to catch my breath. They drove off and I'm sure wondered why I was so tired. It was obvious I'd been out running, they could plainly see that, but they probably thought that I was seriously out of shape. They may be right.

Tomorrow I'll try to get out early and ride and complete my 70.3 weekend. I need to get some good training in this week, because next week I have a very busy schedule and it may be tough to work out. Then on September 23 I'll be in Branson at the 70.3 race. On that day I have to do all 70.3 miles in one day.

*I had to walk a couple of times. Hey, my knee started hurting, give me a break!

Cold Water Training

Yesterday I got up and the thermometer said the temperature outside was 56 degrees. Burr! I went on over to the pool, which is about a block from my house. Normally it isn't that close, but through July and August it is. Well, the city drains the indoor pool every July for cleaning and maintenance. Generally they open it back up in August. While it's closed they open the outdoor pool in the morning for lap swimming. This August, however, we are still swimming in the outdoor pool because they lack a part to fix the indoor pool. I don't mind swimming outside. In fact, I prefer it, but I forgot what 56 degrees felt like this summer.

At any rate, I get into the water, and promptly freeze my butt off. Since the pool is a block from home, I decide to go home and get my wetsuit. I acquired said wetsuit circa 1996 when I was stationed in Okinawa and did some diving. Now I know why I kept it all these years. Actually, I thought the suit performed well, and I'll probably wear it at the Branson 70.3 next month. It's only 3mm thick. I understand the maximum allowed by rule is 5mm. I may look like a dork swimming with a diving suit (it has these pieces of plastic that cover the knees), but that's OK, I'll save a few bucks. Last year I rented a wetsuit.

The only thing about this wetsuit is that it was hard to get off. I may swim again in the morning with it, but I'll try that body glide and see if that helps me get it off. It's sleeveless, which after using a full-sleeved one last year, I decided to go with anyways, but it's still hard to get it off past my ankles and heels.

Today, the last day I had off before back to work tomorrow, I rode 33 miles and then ran a 5K. The temps were in the mid 80s when I got done at around noon, so a can't complain about that, not this summer. If the water is as cold tomorrow as it was Monday, I may feel obligated to complain about that, though.